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Why do many people give up pursuing their goals in the middle?

In our real life, we see many people starting to pursue their goals with great excitement. Some people are very good starters. But when they face any stress, discomfort or resistance in their path, they drop off.

Some people are good starters and they are also good at ‘keeping it going’. But after a while, when they don’t see the desired results, they are tempted to drop it off. And mostly they will.

Why is it like this? Why do many people lose motivation for their goals?

As far as I can remember, I have always been a goal and growth oriented person. I frequently used to listen to my favorite motivational songs to stay motivated. For me, motivation used to be a ‘feeling’ before. The kind of motivation I used to get would not stay for a long time. I was confused about it. Why wasn’t I able to keep going on in my path constantly?

Here is what I found about having enduring motivation for most of the goals we set in our lives.

Purpose:
What is the purpose of your goal?  If the purpose is not of higher value, the motivation will not stay longer.

Period. For example, let’s say that you want to start a business. You may have many kinds of motivation to keep the business going. If your sole purpose is to make money, your customers will not trust you in the long term and they will try to be more careful while dealing with you.

Whereas if the purpose is of higher value; like helping your customers or making them feel happy, you will have more satisfaction and happiness. It will earn you more respect. This will strengthen your motivation.

Another example is, let’s say that a middle-aged gentleman wanted to exercise regularly and maintain a healthy good looking body. If his purpose is just to impress others, it may not stay longer. Whereas if the purpose is to have great health and play with his children or be an inspiration to his children, his motivation will be more enduring.

So, the purpose of your goal is very important and it should be of higher value. This is very important for staying motivated for a long time.

When I have fully decided that a result is worth getting, I go ahead of it and make trial after trial until it comes – Thomas Edison

Clarity:
One of the primary reasons why people lose motivation for their goals is the lack of clarity. If we do not have clarity, we would take much longer time even to achieve a small goal. Most people take the initial step of starting with great enthusiasm, but after a while, they are unsure of where to take it from there. This is due to their lack of clarity and they waste a lot of time because of it.

A simple example is buying grocery items. If you know exactly what you want, you would complete your shopping very fast. If you are not sure, you would roam around or buy something else which you really don’t use.

So, be clear of exactly what is your goal. If you want to be wealthy, be clear about how much money you want to make and in what period of time. If you want to lose weight and become fit, be clear of how you would want to look like.

When we are clear of what we want, we have the tendency to break the job into steps that are required to achieve this goal. And then when we work on each of these steps and complete them, these battles won, will keep us more and more motivated for our final goal and give tremendous strength to our feeling of well-being.

Emotional stability:
I think this plays a major role in having us stay motivated. Perhaps this is the singe most important driving factor for success and happiness.

Where does our emotional stability come from? It is unconditional love.  For many people, the source of unconditional love is one of their family members. For some, it is their best friend. For some, emotional stability comes from the teachings of a great and loving person. It can be some good books also. For many others, emotional stability comes from earning the respect of people whom they admire or in volunteering their services for the less fortunate people.

We become more stable emotionally by periodically giving dedicated time to the sources of our emotional stability. For me, the primary source of emotional stability is prayers, reading positive books, listening to inspiring music and spending good quality time with people who I love (family members and friends). I also get my emotional stability from encouraging other friends or when I get the chance to help less fortunate people. And in day-to-day life, I derive it by being kind to my colleagues, smiling from heart and listening more to others.

Make sure that the source of emotional stability is positive and that it helps you grow further. Emotional stability is not a ‘feeling’. It is related to values. Feelings will come and go. If we have strong values like compassion and kindness, nothing can stop us from moving forward. 

Nuren Nuren likes writing, teaching, people, nature and many kinds of creative work such as photography, design, studying articles related to astronomy and science. He is positive, dedicated, open-minded and always looking for a way to learn something new. One of Nuren's favorite quotes is "How monotonously alike all the great tyrants and conquerors have been: how gloriously different are the saints" (by C. S. Lewis). Read More >>